


thrift shop

by onlyslash



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4088500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyslash/pseuds/onlyslash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ever wondered how trip came to acquire that god-awful suit? let me tell you a cracky little story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	thrift shop

**Author's Note:**

> this was my contribution to trip week tuesday, FASHION DAY! no smut, just lots of stupidity. written with making klari19 laugh in mind so I’ll dedicate it to her o3o  
> also, there’s a couple of subtle references to the song thrift shop by macklemore so if you know that song it might be a little funnier, idk I think its funny

The second he walked into Goodwill, he felt it. It was like a spidey sense. Except for a suit. One special suit, the suit that would redefine Trip’s entire fucking life from that day forward.   
He didn’t know he was looking for a suit, he just knew something called him. He looked through the jeans, then the shirts, jackets, shoes (“Ooh, these boots are tite, $4.99? I'ma get ‘em”), and last, he figured why not check out the suits. As much as he loved looking exactly like Weerus, black suits are fucking boring.  
And there it was.  
He saw the bright fabric peeking from between dozens and dozens of drab-colored suits. He strode over to it as if in a trance, holding his breath as he searched for the size tag.  
Shit, the tie is there, the shirt, vest and coat are fine, but the pants are 2 sizes too big.  
You know what, fuck it. “I'ma try it anyway”  
He clutched the suit-set close to him as he made his way to the dressing rooms. He latched the door behind him and took a deep, steadying breath before stripping down to his hot pink boxer briefs.  
“Jesus Christ please please please please let this fit.”  
He separated the suit into its individual parts to put it on. Awww shit, it comes with suspenders too! Tite. Super tite.  
He put the white dress shirt on first. Yeah, that’s nice. Such classy. Many handsome. Wow.  
He knew the pants were going to be too big, but he put them on next, tucking his shirt in, then attached the suspenders.  
“Ehhh…they hold 'em up but…”  
Trip pulled the white belt from the jeans he had been wearing and slipped it through the loops of the new trousers, tightening the belt appropriately.   
“Much better.”  
He half-assedly put the tie on because he had no fucking clue how to tie a tie. Virus could do that shit for him. Next is the vest and, hot damn, it’s a perfect fucking fit. Then he slipped the coat on and, voila, time to look in the mirror and see how fresh to fucking death he looks in this plaid suit.  
“Ehhh…a little too much plaid. Is that possible? …Yeah, it’s possible.” He shed the jacket and tie. “Hmm…yeah, that’s perfect. So good.”  
The suit had to be bought as a set, so he hung everything back up on the hangers and got back into his clothes. After he pulled his jeans on, he reached into his pocket to get his wallet and—–fuck.  
Shit.  
Where.  
Is.  
The.  
Wallet.  
“…I only got $20 in my pocket.”  
He held his breath as he looked at the price tag.  
$14.99.  
“AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!!” he shouted way too fucking loudly, and maybe did a little bit of a dance because hell fucking YES he was about to pop these tags.  
He grabbed the boots and the suit and strutted, legit strutted up to the checkout, the total came to $19.98, he threw the $20 at the old man and said “Keep the change, brah!” as he took his purchases and strutted out without a fucking bag or anything. Once he was out of sight of anyone from the store, he began to sprint home. He could not. Fucking. Wait. To. Show. Virus. This. Shit.  
_____________________  
T: “OKAY I’M READY! Close your eyes.”  
V: “Trip, fucking really?”  
T: “JUST CLOSE YOUR EYESSSSSSSS” Trip whined from behind the closet door.   
Virus heaved a sigh and closed his fucking eyes. Trip peeked out of the door to make sure his eyes were closed, then came totally out of the closet.   
T: “TAH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH”  
V: “…Fucking What.”  
T: “You like it!??! Isn’t it tite! Look at this plaid! Hot fuckin’ stuff amirite!”  
V: “You look like a fucking idiot. Would you at least put a black tie on?”  
T: “Its funny you say that because I was gonna ask for one, it came with a matching tie but ehhh…too much plaid.”  
V: “And this isn’t?”  
T: “Naah. Buuuut you know what?”  
V: “-sigh- what.”  
T: “You should wear the tie. And then we’ll match! I have the pimped out plaid suit–”  
V: “You’re not even wearing the whole suit, you’re wearing a shirt, vest and pants. And why are you wearing a belt AND suspenders?”  
T: “Because the pants were too big, ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING, I HAVE the pimped out plaid suit, and YOU will have a pimped out plaid tie!”  
V: “…you know what Trip? Okay. I’ll wear the fucking tie. Just….just stop. Let me go drink some fucking wine. You’re driving me insane right now.”  
T: “Yeeeeeah man. We’re gonna look so fuckin’ tite. Like twins!!!”  
V: “…don’t ever say that again. Now go get your pajamas, you need to take a bath and go to bed. It’s a school night.”

**Author's Note:**

> peep my tumblr fam onlyslash.tumblr.com


End file.
